Chasm Lake with the Diamond of Longs Peak at top center
Chasm Lake lies just below the diamond face of Longs, sitting at about 11,800 ft elevation. It’s almost 9 miles out-and-back (up and down would be a better descriptor) with an elevation gain of between 2400-2500 feet. It’s a bear! Doable…but it will cost you something. If you’re going to the summit of Longs by the Keyhole route… that’s over 13 miles sitting at 14,259 ft… for me, not doable… not right now at least.
THE MAGIC BEHIND THE MOUNTAIN
Longs has given me some wonderful experiences over the years and has taken advantage of countless metaphors to teach me life lessons; so much of my work with addicts and other probation clients has been seasoned by my experiences on that mountain.
In my younger days of the 80’s, I summited Longs twice. Once as an inexperienced college kid recklessly out on an adventure with a roommate (by inexperienced I mean, little water and high-top basketball shoes… I had no clue what I was getting myself into), and a second time hiking it only hours after closing down a bar…and I do mean hours… dropped off after 1:00am by my bar friends and picked up at 3:00am by my hiking friends… Young… Stupid… Careless… but one hell of a memory!
In the years after that second hike, I hit my 30’s, fell into life ruts, coped with those ruts in very unhealthy ways, and suddenly, I’m in my 40’s, 3 knee surgeries in my rearview mirror, weighing close to 350lbs, and looking up at that mountain like the memories were someone else’s … not mine.
After so many failed attempts to lose weight, I was now in my mid-50’s and resigned to the idea that I would never be “that guy” again… the guy running around up on high altitude trails experiencing the exhilaration of being in the wilderness.
(I’m trudging through this background like the 2-mile portion of trail through the forest before hitting Treeline… it’s necessary, but not inspiring. Hang in there please…and pardon all the mosquitos along the way, after all we are walking through their living room.)
Successfully losing weight in 2018 opened my eyes to the possibility I could once again do things that I had forever given up on before… hiking… coaching basketball… just to name a few. These were memories from another time… for another guy… but with me finally breaking through and remaining focused on the fundamentals of weight loss, I started to see the changes in my body, and more importantly, the changes in my mindset and what I could expect “normal” to start looking like in my future.
On July 22nd, 2019, a buddy and I decided to hike the trail with no specific goal in mind… “let’s just see how far we can get.” Well…we got to Chasm Junction…
(Sign welcoming hikers to Chasm Junction – Longs is in the background)
In those moments after arriving there, I stood at the doorstep looking at the face of that mountain for the first time in 25 years; my heart leaped with joy at a reawakening of a love I had back in the 80’s and early 90’s, I was reminded that all those memories from long ago… those were my memories, my experiences…not someone else’s. Ultimately, I realized I could have this life back again… if I was willing to make the required changes and redefine what “normal” would be in my life.
TODAY…JULY 17th 2023
Now, 4 years later, I’m approaching 62 and one year past my heart attack. I’m quite aware that my stamina is lower than in past years, and I’m beginning to consider the possibility that knee replacement is a bridge I must cross…but not today. All that said, it’s my daughter’s birthday and Chasm Lake is a trail she’s wanted to tackle.
As I age, I am quite aware of the importance of some things:
- These hikes are opportunities for creating memories that last beyond my lifetime…
- I never stop being a parent, the lessons simply change. I still have the responsibility of showing my children and grandchildren a different way to live their 50’s and 60’s if they so choose. There’s so much more to life than giving your best to a career and having little left in the tank when retirement comes along… and that is certainly another post for another time.
- Finally, I’m also becoming more aware I have less time ahead of me and sitting in the bleachers as a spectator is not the way I want my remaining days lived out… so suck it up knees, we’re going hiking today!
RELENTLESS
The first couple miles were a steady elevation gain through the trees (what am I saying…the whole damn thing was a steady elevation gain…). The morning shadows were long as the sun creeped up above the Twin Sisters to the east, and if you stopped for any length of time, the mosquitoes were quick to greet you.
As I pushed upward, the thought occurred to me, “this mountain is relentless.”
Every step challenges your conviction. Although enthusiasm is much louder near the Trailhead, resistance is present with every step. It’s not long before the challenges of breathing at altitude begin to chip away at all that initial enthusiasm. It’s a constant upward trajectory with minor wins along the way at the Goblin Forest turnoff, the arrival at the Tundra area and Treeline, the turn off to the Battle Mountain Group Site, and then the long trek above Treeline to Chasm Junction. At each phase there is a sense of accomplishment and renewed enthusiasm to keep going. But with each accomplishment, the renewed energy seemed to burn away quicker and quicker as I resumed my upward march. The relentless challenge of the Mountain applied constant pressure against my conviction, and questions began to dance in my mind about what I really wanted.
As we approached Chasm Junction, the final .2 miles is an elevation gain of about 130 feet… between a 15-19% grade. Each step was hard on the knees and the mental side was exhausting. I saw the sign signaling our arrival at the Junction over the horizon in front of us…but it didn’t seem like we were getting closer.
Once we made it, I stood there looking at the breath-taking view of that massive rock in front of us, staring into the face of the diamond. I swear I saw the Mountain tip its hat toward me, acknowledging my accomplishment… but I also saw a warning to reconsider if I had any inclinations of continuing upward.
FINAL REFLECTIONS
Youth has a cockiness about it…and it should. I was “young & dumb” once… climbing this mountain in shorts, t-shirt and high-top basketball shoes, no thought of dehydration, regular afternoon electrical storms, or potential injuries… it was a trail to a mountain, and I was just going to take off and see how far I could go. Once at the top, I had some appreciation for what I had accomplished…but during the hangover hike, I simply reached the top and fell asleep. I was awakened by my group after they arrived and were ready to start back down.
Really? That’s what I did when I got to the top… slept? Like I said… young and dumb…
But today, this 60+ year old guy has a different view of the Mountain. Today I struggled mightily to get to the Junction. I had no thought at all of continuing upward… I knew I had just enough fuel to return to the Trailhead. Today, I tipped my hat to the Mountain and said, “you win my friend.” It has allowed me to experience some victories along the way, but in the end, the Mountain will stand, and my attempts to climb it will only get harder each time.
Life offers very few guarantees that I am aware of. Today, as we turned back and headed toward the trailhead, my daughter was well out in front of me. I was exhausted thinking about the 4 miles we had in front of us to return to the trailhead, so my pace was slow. As I took a few steps in that direction, I turned around and looked at the diamond face of that mountain. I paused for a moment and smiled in its direction… an odd thought passing through my mind… I was having a moment no one else could be a part of, this was between me and the Mountain. I stood there staring at it’s face and I wondered (perhaps a bit out loud), am I saying goodbye to an old friend right now?
In this moment, youthful cockiness was long gone, replaced by a humility that comes with age… I won’t take for granted the challenge this Mountain offers to all who choose to take it on, and I won’t take for granted that I can be back up here again anytime soon.
But for now… goodbye my friend…and I do hope to revisit you again someday soon.